May 8, 2014
Reflections: Just Remember To Breathe
Having a crisis at any point in your life is hardly fun, especially as you get older they seem to be harder to deal with for some reason. Life should be so simple and even if you are able to look at it in black and white it always has an uncanny way of being overly dramatic and complicated even when you're stomping your foot and wailing for simplicity.
Mine is going through that phase at the moment, where everything I knew and thought I wanted has just done a 360. Suddenly I've been thrown into the unknown and literally lose track of days while being stuck in torment, caged by my own mind and paranoia. It got to the point where I reached my lowest low and went even lower, spiraling downwards at such an alarming rate that I had to actually tell myself out loud to "breathe". No one should have to go through such anxiety - no one.
And suddenly you have the good days, the days where you laugh at the absurdity of it all and how things really shouldn't be this complicated. You toss your hair over your shoulder and then bring it back over to contemplate shearing it off in defiance so that you will never have to toss it over your shoulder again. Those trivial moments are what make you believe you're going to be okay again and that you're finally moving forward.
But you're not. You're sometimes lulled into the false sense that you are moving on but it's actually your mind taking care of you without you realizing, making sure that you don't break. At the end of it all, you will realize that you are your strongest support and the one who will protect and love yourself the most during this crisis.
That, and the fact that you really need to remember to breathe. Gasping for air during a crisis moment is really too much dramatic flair: go for something less theatrical, like fanning yourself or falling backwards on a chaise lounge with a hand to your forehead.
Just, please, breathe. You will be okay.